belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
