S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
