thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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