Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
