apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
