I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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