Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
