if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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