did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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