wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
