Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
