So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
