I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
