Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
