Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
