$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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