So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
