weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
