Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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