Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
