I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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