i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
