the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
