He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
