Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
