I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
