You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
