He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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