Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
