Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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