he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
