I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
