dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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