youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
