Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
