....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
