Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
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