Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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