if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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