why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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