if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
