i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
