You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
