theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you never un-have a 4some
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
