we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize