For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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