If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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