I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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