I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
