i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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