I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
